That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need to calm my uterus...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
