I'm lost and stupid without you.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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