haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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