omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
