An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
