Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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