did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
