Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
