She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
