Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize