This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
