I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
