Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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