the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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