There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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