U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize