I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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