Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize