i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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