i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Green mimosas i think yes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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