i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
how does that bad decision feel?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
