okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
