I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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