Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize