if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
