I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
