Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's never too late to be topless.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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