Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
