i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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