i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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