Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
