he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize