If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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