I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
