Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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