my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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