Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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