and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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