you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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