Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
