All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
