I didn't shave. On purpose
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
