Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
