Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
