The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
