1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
