She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
