Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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