Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
