I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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