K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
