May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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