He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize