drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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