69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
