I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
