grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
