Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
