He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
