a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
