Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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