so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
