I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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